I know, we are really privileged in our situation, as my husband and I haven’t lost our work and we have a big child friendly garden, where our kids an play. However also for all members of our family the Covid 19 crises is a …
In social media posts of people stating, that they are enjoying their downtime during corona virus keep popping up. Some people even start to complain that they are bored. Somehow this triggered something in me. So I just have to get this out:
I am all for staying positive and grounded and not panicking. I am all for valuing the time we spend together as a family and for making positive memories with my kids. BUT…
I personally have more work then ever before. Home schooling two kids, and home office and caring for the elderly (aka my mom, so she can stay safe and does not have to leave home). That’s no downtime. So many parents have so much more work now. Often it is the mothers who carry the extra load.
I know I am not to complain. And I am not complaining but thankful for what I and my family have. Because I have a loving and not fighting family. I am not lonely but grateful for our time together. We lovingly support each other. I enjoy the time with my kids.
We are gratefull for our garden, for our kids to be able to play outside. We are gratefull that we still have our wages and can afford housing and food, while so many can’t. And I am personally not worried about the virus, because we are very healthy and here in Germany we have 50% of our ICU bed capacity free right now, waiting to take care of patients in need. So no panic, no real worries here.
But it sure is NOT A DOWNTIME FOR US MOTHERS and fathers.
- teaching the kids (here I have to teach really complicated Maths, German, English, French, history, art, biology, music… ),
- providing a grounding and loving environment for them,
- drying their tears when they miss school and their friends,
- making them go outside to get enough playtime and exercise, making sure they do not spend this social distancing time in front of screens of TV or computers or smart phones,
- cooking because everyone is home all day and eating like a horse now
- cleaning more because everyone is home all day now, making the house dirty much quicker.
- And many of us mothers and fathers, are at the same time still working from home or even still going out for work (like doctors, nurses, and the cashiers at our grocery stores)
We parents are giving our best to make sure the children will keep this time in memory as a time the family lovingly stuck together. As a positive experience that proves to them they can rely on us, that teaches them basic trust in the family, the world and their capability to make the best out of difficult situations. We can use this time as precious time we spend with and for our children. We are giving our love all day and that is good.
However it is no downtime. It is a very, very demanding time! In this crises, mothers and often also fathers are one of the big heroes, keeping it all together and many people don’t even realize what we are quietly accomplishing in our homes.
And to those, who are saying they are enjoying the downtime or even bored I would like to say: “Open your eyes and your hearts. There are so many people desperate now. There are so many people working on the verge of breaking down to protect, supply and save as many as possible. This is not a vacation. Stay positive and well, but please don’t close your eyes to the need out there. In all countries there is a desperate need for support now. If you have an abundance of time, energy and / or money please help. Our world needs donations and volunteers to hand out food, to go grocery shopping for those, who should not go outside anymore, to sew face masks, to send letters to lonely people and so much more. How about the medical staff in your community? How can we support them? Who is cooking and grocery shopping for them? Or helping with laundry? I am sure there is something to do. So let’s stand together (2 lamas apart) and help each other out.”
And to all you moms and dads out there I wanna say: “You are super heroes. You are contributing such an important service to our societies. It doesn’t have to be all perfect. You do what you can and that is good.
In the end it won’t matter if the kids get A’s after corona. And if they have to repeat a year in school, so be it. What we can teach them is, that education is important and we can appreciate their effort and hard work for school. What matters in the end is, whether our kids will remember a loving home, a sense of security and trust, feeling grounded and sticking up for each other. This is our chance to teach our kids how to get through difficult times by staying strong and spreading love and hope, by never giving up and by staying positive.”